White Noise

I have a condition called tinitus. It means that there is a constant ringing in my ears. The only time I really notice it is at night when the whole house has gone to sleep and it is quiet. If I focus on the sound I can't sleep, and it makes me crazy. I have developed a coping mechanism. I turn on white noise. White noise distracts me from the sound, I can listen to the radio, a fan, my husband reading to me, or even his breathing as he sleeps. By doing this I am distracted and can fall asleep. I love white noise, I think I would be a tired grumpy mess without it.

I have another condition I call lazy eating machinitis. It means that I do not naturally desire to eat healthy or exercises. There is a constant yearning in my soul to eat everything even when I am not aware of it. Sometimes it can get so bad I see a pan of brownies, I stand by the pan of brownies, and then bam... the brownies are gone. During the times that this condition hits the hardest I used to give up, stuff my face, sleep in, get more depressed, eat more, lay on the couch more, etc. I would rather have tinitus.

When I decided to fight this illness I had to find "white noise" to get the constant suggestions my disease (lazy eating machinitus) impales me with. I put gum in the kitchen drawers, in my van and in my purse. Chewing gum is great white noise. During the week before my period I am hit hardest. The white noise for me then is to not grocery shop when I am hungry, or not grocery shop at all. For this you need a supportive friend or spouse, get them to pick up the necessities.

White noise can also include: taking a shower or bath when you would normally be watching tv with a bowl of ice cream screaming for your attention, Taking the kids to a park and having a picnic with portioned out meals for each of you, or watching tv in a room other than the one next to the kitchen. Prayer and scripture study are both wonderful ways to distract you from cravings as well.

One white noise success story just happened. For my anniversary I found on my table 16 beautifully written cards (one for each year of our marriage, one for the future) a dozen roses, fruity pebbles and a people magazine. This white noise came in response to the pleading I make when particularly ill, telling him that it is chocolate that makes me happy. I had to change my song. I came up with something else that makes me happy, and it is getting a magazine I can't justify buying for myself, and my favorite childrens cereal which is still better for me than a basket full of truffels.

I know I am not alone in fighting lazy eating machinitis. We cant forget it is a deadly disease. When it screams at you to stay in bed when the alarm goes off an extra hour early for a walk, Get a distraction, plug your ears and say "I can't hear you!", get a favoirte motivational song or a have your husband kick you out of bed.

This is a diesase that I will always have. I manage it now. It can be done. "Race for the Cure."