Some people have asked me how I started my weight loss. My first few months in the blog archive explain it all.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Doing the Best


Another season I think is hard is the season when I feel stuck at home, it makes me fat. I get this feeling sometimes when I have sick kids, toddlers, babies, and of course lack of funds (If I don't go to the store, I won't spend money!) I get bored, I get tired, and complacent in the mundane tasks of motherhood. My hubby always comes home from work telling me the comments coming from the women he works with: "I could never stay home it would make me crazy!", or "I would get so bored!" I want to look at them with a bland face and say "your point is.....???"

Bored for a mother, or maybe it is just me, means that I have plenty to do, It just doesn't really seem pressing, and I don't want to do it. I know that my toilets could use scrubbing, my windows washing, I know I could be making cookies for my children and that my van could use a good mucking out, but.... if they don't get done....well, no big deal, the family will still function and if I mop now it will need another mopping tomorrow. I think to myself my children are no judge or jury, I think I will take today off and read, or watch my recorded shows, or be on the computer all day, and eat to my hearts content. There is no supervisor, no one to be really accountable to, just me and I get to do anything I want. I usually don't want to clean, I usually want to read, and eat.

Lets say however I am going to host book club, or have a baby shower, or invite complete strangers into my home. Then I am frantic, I storm from room to room cleaning like a mad woman, shouting orders, and spewing cleaning supplies all over the house.

I just found this entry which puts this horrible habit into perspective, which I need to remember once again: It is dated April 18th 2006


"I just woke up from a horrible dream. I had 2 little boys to take care of. One was Ethan my neighbors son 9 years old, the other Bruce, my 3 year old. We were by a flooded stream or river and I had to float the boys to safety. Ethans mother was really ill. I wanted to help her so I decided to take him first, even though he was much older. They were on a raft made of logslocked in place by an anchor. I rescued Ethan but had to tell Bruce to not move from the raft. he looked so little and was crying as I left him. I returned Ethan to his parents but it took longer than I had thought. I was sick thinking of what I had done, knowing that when I returned, Bruce might be gone, that I had left my son to be a hero to my neighbor. How could I have my priorities so skewed? Ethan was the older one, and could probably swim. He could have followed me while I saved my son. --Dream over.
Yesterday I spent the day making my house look nice for company I neglected my children in the worst ways. When Bruce cried I got angry, when he spit and hit Eliza I got angry. I can see how my son just needed me more than I needed to have a perfect house for my guests. I feel ashamed and humbled."


What does this have to do with weight loss? Well just this, when I don't have a schedule or a plan and I wing it I am left defenseless to my cravings. I am sure to do that which is most convenient to me. Please note, I am a mother of 5 and my time is claimed 85% of the time, so I justify taking it easy, too easy, when I get moments to myself. I know we aren't supposed to run faster than we have strength, but I barely crawl when I can get away with it.

As a missionary we were taught to plan every day out before we started. This way we wouldn't waste time and could be more productive. I always heard that a mission is a training ground for life, so applying the same principles are important. This is tricky when there are toddlers involved and we have to be realistic and flexible, but we do have to work, and do the best we can, not saying that as a call to justify, but a call to work. I find when I ask myself if I can do better, I usually can. I really shouldn't have time to watch tv during the day. "I have work enough to do, ere the sun goes down" (LDS Hymn #224)

I loved the Relief Society Broadcast, each speaker mentioned service, charity, and good works. One sister invited us to pray every morning "who can I help today?" Being anxiously engaged in good works leaves little time to sit, watch tv and eat.

I am not perfect in this principle as yesterdays food/tv/computer/book binge would prove, but to those of you who like me, find day to day housework and chores mundane, boring, and unchallenging, please know today I am trying harder, and will be better. I really think that if I can get my head around the fact that my home is a temple I would work harder to make it feel that way. I wouldn't feel stuck, but rather blessed to be anxiously engaged in a good work. I hear over and over that my home is a temple, especially to my children. That makes me a temple worker. As a temple worker, I have meaning, purpose and direction. Even cleaning the toilets in the temple is a service of love.

Holiness to the Lord.

15 comments:

Courtney said...

I loved your post. It is so hard for me to be motivated to do the brainless activities of life. Sticker charts work well for my kids... but alas, I only like them for like a day. I enjoyed the first talk, when she said that we should be the best moms because we have the truth. I think of that when I'm "barely crawling".

Jennifer B. said...

This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you! I am going to get up and fold my laundry, and I'm going to start planning my days more thouroughly. The irony is, I just gave a lesson on time management for FHE, but I haven't changed a thing yet. Time for change!

Yvonne said...

I told my Seminary class today how I waste so much time and that is a weakness I need to overcome. This is a post that I definitely needed. Our home really is a temple. Thank you so much for this great reminder. (I feel like a broken record, but each of your posts are so helpful for me)

Thoroughly Mormon Millie said...

I was just thinking this same exact thing! What kind of temple are my angels living in? (Not a very good one.)

I can totally identify with five kids = no time for yourself, so when you goof off, you really GOOF OFF. I'm guilty of that as well. Thanks for this great post.

Abish said...

This post was incredibly inspiring to me. Thank you so much. I also have 5 kids and am a returned missionary, so I really relate to what you wrote. Thank you so much!

Amy said...

Another good one! I too loved the Relief Society Broadcast. It was full of great tips and helpful guidance. Now the application...

Amy said...

Another good one! I too loved the Relief Society Broadcast. It was full of great tips and helpful guidance. Now the application...

Denise said...

That's funny, I don't remember writing this post....and yet I must have, since it describes my life!

You have a way of really hitting the nail on the head. Awesome post!

Calamity Jane said...

Thanks everyone, I felt a little exposed there, worrying that I really was the only one with a base line set at lazy. Big sigh of relief to know that I am not alone!

Heffalump said...

We just went on a ward temple trip last weekend, and in the chapel session our Bishop talked about our homes being like a temple, and that not only should we keep them organized, but also treat our families with the reverence and care we treat others in the temple (at least that was what I got out of it). I have a ton of work to do as far as cleaning, and the way I treat my family, yet all I want to do is sit and do nothing.

Rebecca said...

You are definitely not alone. I do much better on the days when I get up, exercise, and limit my computer time. Which means I'd better get off here, dress my kids and get started on our school day. Plus fold Mountain of Glowing Laundry that's on my couch!

Thanks for indirectly answering my question about that pms hunger. I learned that next month I need to have a plan. That means lots of low-cal, healthy food around.

I'm sorry for going off-topic on the comments before and now. You're such an inspiration to me and I depend on your posts because I don't have anyone else to rely on for weight-loss support. I know I have the Lord, and I pray for help every day multiple times. I feel that he led me to your blog for more support, and all of your posts have been VERY helpful! Thank you so much.

mindyluwho said...

Only 85%? I think your number is too low!

These last couple of weeks I have been wandering around like a little girl lost. Yesterday, before I read your blog, I went to the bookstore to buy a simple planner so that I could start planning my days better. Then I read your blog and laughed because it described my own thoughts exactly, only not relating to weight loss, but to just having a plan for my day in general!

Your dream makes me shudder, because I find myself doing the exact same thing. I look at my children and just want to cry because I feel that I have lost so much of their childhood through my lack of disorganization.

You are doing such a great service in expounding your thoughts and experiences to all of us. You put into words a lot of what I am feeling, but have a hard time expressing. Thank you!!!

mindyluwho said...

I meant my lack of organization...if it were a lack of disorganization I guess I would be doing ok?!

Trixie said...

I've had the same type of dream where I've rescued someone else's kid and endangered my own. Oh the grief and shame.

Being of a practical nature and think of housework/cooking as "perishing work" and hence give it a low priority. The temple analogy is great to put it back into perspective.

Lucy said...

Yes, I think we were separated at birth. I'm glad we are both "doing the best" that we can and trying a little harder to do just that.