Wednesday, November 14, 2007
I have thick hair. It is a simple fact that thick hair permed grows up and out. When perms were in their heyday I was seen every three months at the salon. More than one stylist tried talking me out of a perm, but I wanted those spiral ringlets that were so popular. I wanted to look like Elizabeth Shue on "Karate Kid" Each stylist had a different way to try to control my mane, each stylist had ways of telling me the truth that I would not listen to. "Maybe we should layer it so we don't have such a full triangle" "Lets thin this mess out" or "What about short hair?" "Careful or you could be mistaken for Rosanne-rosanna-danna" I would not listen, I could not be stopped.
One of my boyfriends saw me right after a perm and called my hair style the "atomic bouffant" Each time we would go out he would comment on the size of my hair that day. I took it as a compliment and blushed.
Then reality hit. I went to Carrots wedding feeling beautiful with my frizzy mane. Pictures were taken, It was a glorious day. It wasn't until I saw the pictures that reality hit me. Ugly orange frizzy hair that obstructed peoples view covered my head. There must have been a mistake, I didn't really look like that did I? I had a White woman's fro. And I had been doing this for YEARS!!! It was my next to last perm. (I had a weak moment while pregnant once, it looked just as bad)
My hair still gets big. The picture above was taken at my daughters baptism in May. Once again I thought that my hair looked good, the picture told me otherwise, it was huge. I have now made a pact with my husband, He has to tell me in a nice way if my hair has grown to large. He has agreed to do so.
How does my big hair relate to a big bum? I was watching reruns of "The Biggest Loser season one". Each person was faced with life size cutouts of what they had looked like when they came to the ranch. The contestants said things like: "I thought I looked good" "I never thought I was that fat" "I can't believe I got that big" Those are the exact thoughts that I had. The whole time I was getting fat I would just look in smaller and smaller mirrors. I did my hair and make up beautifully and dressed nicely, I thought that even though the scale said 205, I was the genetic abnormality that had heavy bones, No way did I look that fat.
Remember when Elizabeth Taylor lost all of her weight in the early nineties? I saw her interview and she said she stood completely naked in front of a three way mirror and that was enough to turn her to healthy eating. I did just that and it was amazing. My eyes were opened, rolls of fat everywhere? No way, where did it come from? How did my bum get so large? It is a sad fact but we see what we want to see.
The Book of Mormon is full of stories of people turning a blind eye to reality. "...Satan had full power over the hearts of the people; for they were given up unto...the blindness of their minds.." (Ether 15:19) Heavenly Father constantly shows us our weakness so that we can address them and become strong in the becoming. Gaining weight is just that, a weakness and can truly lead to a spiritual journey.
I have heard the term "A healthy dose of reality" As long as reality does not lead you to despair but to hope and excitement and leads you to see the new path you are going to walk it can be a really useful tool. Be happy, be humble, be hopeful, and excited. Who doesn't love a improvement project? "I may be fat but I have a plan... wait till you see me in three months!"