Some people have asked me how I started my weight loss. My first few months in the blog archive explain it all.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Atomic Bouffant

I have thick hair. It is a simple fact that thick hair permed grows up and out. When perms were in their heyday I was seen every three months at the salon. More than one stylist tried talking me out of a perm, but I wanted those spiral ringlets that were so popular. I wanted to look like Elizabeth Shue on "Karate Kid" Each stylist had a different way to try to control my mane, each stylist had ways of telling me the truth that I would not listen to. "Maybe we should layer it so we don't have such a full triangle" "Lets thin this mess out" or "What about short hair?" "Careful or you could be mistaken for Rosanne-rosanna-danna" I would not listen, I could not be stopped.

One of my boyfriends saw me right after a perm and called my hair style the "atomic bouffant" Each time we would go out he would comment on the size of my hair that day. I took it as a compliment and blushed.

Then reality hit. I went to Carrots wedding feeling beautiful with my frizzy mane. Pictures were taken, It was a glorious day. It wasn't until I saw the pictures that reality hit me. Ugly orange frizzy hair that obstructed peoples view covered my head. There must have been a mistake, I didn't really look like that did I? I had a White woman's fro. And I had been doing this for YEARS!!! It was my next to last perm. (I had a weak moment while pregnant once, it looked just as bad)

My hair still gets big. The picture above was taken at my daughters baptism in May. Once again I thought that my hair looked good, the picture told me otherwise, it was huge. I have now made a pact with my husband, He has to tell me in a nice way if my hair has grown to large. He has agreed to do so.

How does my big hair relate to a big bum? I was watching reruns of "The Biggest Loser season one". Each person was faced with life size cutouts of what they had looked like when they came to the ranch. The contestants said things like: "I thought I looked good" "I never thought I was that fat" "I can't believe I got that big" Those are the exact thoughts that I had. The whole time I was getting fat I would just look in smaller and smaller mirrors. I did my hair and make up beautifully and dressed nicely, I thought that even though the scale said 205, I was the genetic abnormality that had heavy bones, No way did I look that fat.

Remember when Elizabeth Taylor lost all of her weight in the early nineties? I saw her interview and she said she stood completely naked in front of a three way mirror and that was enough to turn her to healthy eating. I did just that and it was amazing. My eyes were opened, rolls of fat everywhere? No way, where did it come from? How did my bum get so large? It is a sad fact but we see what we want to see.

The Book of Mormon is full of stories of people turning a blind eye to reality. "...Satan had full power over the hearts of the people; for they were given up unto...the blindness of their minds.." (Ether 15:19) Heavenly Father constantly shows us our weakness so that we can address them and become strong in the becoming. Gaining weight is just that, a weakness and can truly lead to a spiritual journey.

I have heard the term "A healthy dose of reality" As long as reality does not lead you to despair but to hope and excitement and leads you to see the new path you are going to walk it can be a really useful tool. Be happy, be humble, be hopeful, and excited. Who doesn't love a improvement project? "I may be fat but I have a plan... wait till you see me in three months!"


Amy G said...

I have to say you are really helping me re-connect to where I need to be. I enjoy your thoughts. I don't think I'd ever picked out that scripture and it hit me hard. It made me think of the words to Amazing Grace - 'was blind but now I see' and the thought came to me - the power of the Atonement gives us the strength to thwart the work of Satan. I could use some thwarting right about now! Thanks for helping me remember where I can find some strength! Puffy hair or not you're beautiful!

Kimberly said...

So, so true. It was a picture that set me on my course. 46 down, 24 to go!

Rebecca said...

I was in denial too. I didn't think I really was THAT big. What really upset me were pictures of me at my sister's wedding. There was no mistaking or trying to cover up that I looked AWFUL. That wedding was over a year ago, and it has taken me this long to get started on my journey.

Heffalump said...

I hate seeing myself in a mirror. I also have a hard time that D finds me attractive even though I am fat. He still compliments me, and he means it. I think he must see more than just the fat.

mindyluwho said...

Well, in your defense, big hair was in style for awhile back then! I teased mine to no end to get it to pouf. So glad straight is in now!

"An improvement project", I love it! I've been working on the exercising and can now run 4 minutes on the treadmill!

Tara said...

I was hoping to see a picture of this "bouffant." We all had big hair back then.

The three-way mirror thing scares me. My bathroom mirror is hard enough to avoid when getting out of the shower, but maybe I need to take a good long look instead of rushing to cover up.

Marc and Megan said...

First, I love your hairstyle in that picture! And second, we're twinsies - I have that same exact dress! :) I love your posts - they have so many applications to different aspects of life. Thanks!

Calamity Jane said...

Amy g - thanks, I really love Amazing Grace, I am glad you reminded me of that song.
Kimberly - 46 lbs??? You are awesome!
Rebecca, doesn't matter when you get on the road just that you are on it and moving forward! Good Job!
Heffalump - Being overweight has no claim on being Attractive or not. You are beautiful! I hope this post didn't make you feel that you aren't. It was just meant as an eye opening motivator. Your husband is right, you are beautiful!
Mindyluwho - I am so proud of your 4 minutes. You are really making some progress. Good job!
Tara - I still think you have nothing to worry about.
Megan - great minds think alike! Hooray for Target!

Yvonne said...

That's such a powerful scripture--thanks. Such wonderful thoughts. I wish I had the strength to stand naked in front of a 3-way mirror. Yikes, the thought is enough.

Yvonne said...

I have an award for you--stop by my blog to pick it up.

Camille McInelly said...

That is soo true, but where are the pictures of your atomic bomb hair. I want to see the really big stuff. :)