My mom made grandma Jingle Bells carrot cake last week. I found the last bit while cleaning out the fridge yesterday, I was left defenseless, I thought it was gone. I love this cake with its impossibly thick butter icing. I loved grandma Jingle Bells. What could I do??? I let go of restraint, I found myself during nap time (one does not have to share with sleeping children) in front of the TV with a plate of cake, (not a piece, but the remainder of the cake - quite a few pieces), a fork and a glass of milk. I was not hungry just nostalgic, I knew it was no good for me as I indulged, but she was my favorite grandma, I looked at this as a memorial service to her. More than just a few bites in I knew something "that felt so right was really so wrong" (I think that's a slow song) I knew I needed to stop, I was just helpless to resist. Bite by bite I reasoned it through...
Grandma is better remembered for her crinkly eyes, contagious giggle and smooth soft hands enveloping me in love. She called me twinkle toes, she was the best. What she is not is carrot cake. If I need a physical reminder I am going to have to settle for putting readers digests in my bathroom, pages marked in place with toilet paper. I got up and hurriedly turned the water in the sink and let the rest of the cake go into the disposal. It was hard, but my new boyfriend Mr. restraint promised me a present. I get to have a cup of peppermint tea with splenda to go with my favorite recorded show. Grandma loved Lawrence Welk, I have "Dancing With the Stars." ( I am a freaky Osmond groupie and fast forward every ones dances but Marie's and the race car drivers.) I hope I rid myself of the cake before it did too much damage.
Grandma is better remembered for her crinkly eyes, contagious giggle and smooth soft hands enveloping me in love. She called me twinkle toes, she was the best. What she is not is carrot cake. If I need a physical reminder I am going to have to settle for putting readers digests in my bathroom, pages marked in place with toilet paper. I got up and hurriedly turned the water in the sink and let the rest of the cake go into the disposal. It was hard, but my new boyfriend Mr. restraint promised me a present. I get to have a cup of peppermint tea with splenda to go with my favorite recorded show. Grandma loved Lawrence Welk, I have "Dancing With the Stars." ( I am a freaky Osmond groupie and fast forward every ones dances but Marie's and the race car drivers.) I hope I rid myself of the cake before it did too much damage.
Well, the tea wasn’t as good as the cake, but an hour later I couldn't remember either.
13 comments:
Yay for you! Would I be completely missing the point if I asked for the recipe?
Haha, Jennifer. I had the same thought.
Of course, I would make it with whole wheat flour and plenty of carrots to make it "healthier" for my kids!
Yep. For the kids.....
Anyway, CJ, you are so right. I admire you being able to put that cake down the sink.
I am wondering though...do you ever allow yourself treats like that anymore? I would assume it would be ok once in a while.
I'm learning that when I eat a treat, I really taste it to see if I still like it and that I'm not eating it just for emotional reasons. If I don't, I've been known to spit it in the sink . My sister mentioned last night that she wishes she could eat a whole Symphony bar and enjoy it like she used to. She realized she doesn't like them anymore and it's kind of sad for her. (She's pregnant and much smaller than me!)
jennifer, I am worried that if I gave out the recipe I would become nothing short of a pusher, its that hard to resist.
I wrote that so fast that I fear I misrepresented myself. I already had a good amount of cake, I was full but really desired more and more cake. I wanted a cake festival, I wanted way too much cake. I wanted to be the cake. I only had one option at that point, destroy the cake before it destroyed me. Kind of like a twighlight zone experience. So, yes rebecca I do indulge, I would be a big fat liar if I denied that fact. I am just trying to stop the eating orgy earlier and indulge in stuff that isn't quite so bad for me, at first I was scraping off the butter frosting then I started to taste it. Dangerous waters.
I laugh, because I too find myself spitting things I don't like in the sink to save room for things I love.
Calamity, I just got caught up on your blog... I don't know where I've been, but it's good to be back! Marc loves carrot cake, now I think I understand a little bit better! :) Thank goodness for Mr. restraint, don't 'cha just love him?!
Don't forget the toilet paper bookmark in the Readers Digest.
Mom does have a fat free whole wheat version of that cake, I think.
Carrot, if that was the fat free whole wheat version of the cake, I think I will just die now.
Regardless if it was fat free or not you did the right thing. You were eating when you were already full and that's the only rule I go by. Besides, fat free doesn't = calorie free. Sugar is much worse for me than fat.
You did good!
calamity--I just read your comment to rebecca and felt very relieved. I think a little indulgence is not a bad thing--if you can stop. My problem is quite often I can't stop!!!! I guess I need to get together with Mr. Restraint!!! I loved your comment that later you can't even remember.
"I wanted to be the cake" had me laughing out loud! I so identify with that!!!! Thanks for clarifying! Mmmm, cake. Good thing I just had my smoothie mixed up with enough tropical frozen fruit that I had to eat it with a spoon. Yummmm.
It's dangerous, that one taste. Reminds me of the church lesson about temptation. Thread then embroidery floss, then yarn, then twine, then rope, on and on to the thick chains of hell.
Except that I wish hell didn't taste so good.
Food memories are so strong. I try to make special food each memorial day to remember loved ones, but not all of it is dessert. I try to make foods my grandparents made or loved and make a complete meal out of it. It helps my kids to connect to the great grandparents they didn't get to meet. If I only did desserts, I would feel worse.
The cake looks divine. The best part of your blog, is that you admit to indulgances, and then carefully explain ALL the work you do to keep minding that waist. It is a trade off, but the balance is good. And you keep it so real.
Megan, you and marc can come up anytime and I will make him a cake, as long as you promise to finish it.
Lazy, (I hope you don't mind me calling you that and have to sign up for self esteem classes) Thankyou for validating my decision.
Yvonne, You always give me the nicest comments Thankyou. Keep them up, Lazy might need some nice comments after I just destroyed her.;)
Rebecca, only the ROAD to hell tastes good. Hell, not so good, sulfer smells like rotten eggs, I can't imagine how bad brimstone smells.
Heffalump, you have the best ideas, I think I could find a nice grandma casserole. Great way to celebrate memorial day. I am going to try it.
Lucy, I keep it real because Dr. Phil's book "the ultimate weight solution" had a huge impact on my weight loss. Now, if I start to bald, I am in trouble.
I love that cake. I don't ever scrape of the icing. If you eat it you might as well have the whole experience.
Post a Comment