Monday, February 4, 2008
Confessions Of The cookie monster.
I have felt guilt when my skinny fourteen year old looks into the freezer and says "hey who ate all the ice cream? I have felt the shame burn within me as my children return home from school only to ask - where is last nights cake? I have heard my husband wonder out loud where the supply of mint milanos have gone. The guilt comes from the knowledge of where the ice cream, the cake and the milanos are - in my tummy.
I am undergoing a change however. The feeling is a funny one that I haven't experienced before. I can hardly put it into words but when I see that I am eating more than my share of goodies I look at my children enjoying it and feel bad that I am acting selfishly. I would credit it to the whisperings of the spirit. Somehow my desire to not be selfish with my children is becoming stronger than my urge to eat like cookie monster. - I believe that Heavenly Father doesn't want me to be Jabba the Hut gobbling away my day, eating resourses that should be shared. Children, a neighbor, a friend, or better yet - an enemy - could benefit from selfless sharing. Guilt actually works wonders for me. I am going to let it fester so that when I am tempted to grab the last dozen or so cookies and curl up with a book - I will feel like the hamburgler. At 39&3/4 I am maturing. It is nice to grow up and not out.
There, I am glad I got that off my chest, (and kept the cookies off my thighs) Have a good week everyone!
(I am toning down my posting schedule to once a week. I fear I am running out of things to say and am becoming redundant- My story for those who haven't read it is spelled out carefully in my first month of postings and you can go there to see what really helped me to change and lose weight.)