I have felt guilt when my skinny fourteen year old looks into the freezer and says "hey who ate all the ice cream? I have felt the shame burn within me as my children return home from school only to ask - where is last nights cake? I have heard my husband wonder out loud where the supply of mint milanos have gone. The guilt comes from the knowledge of where the ice cream, the cake and the milanos are - in my tummy.
I am undergoing a change however. The feeling is a funny one that I haven't experienced before. I can hardly put it into words but when I see that I am eating more than my share of goodies I look at my children enjoying it and feel bad that I am acting selfishly. I would credit it to the whisperings of the spirit. Somehow my desire to not be selfish with my children is becoming stronger than my urge to eat like cookie monster. - I believe that Heavenly Father doesn't want me to be Jabba the Hut gobbling away my day, eating resourses that should be shared. Children, a neighbor, a friend, or better yet - an enemy - could benefit from selfless sharing. Guilt actually works wonders for me. I am going to let it fester so that when I am tempted to grab the last dozen or so cookies and curl up with a book - I will feel like the hamburgler. At 39&3/4 I am maturing. It is nice to grow up and not out.
There, I am glad I got that off my chest, (and kept the cookies off my thighs) Have a good week everyone!
(I am toning down my posting schedule to once a week. I fear I am running out of things to say and am becoming redundant- My story for those who haven't read it is spelled out carefully in my first month of postings and you can go there to see what really helped me to change and lose weight.)
10 comments:
I've missed you. Thanks for posting. I have been the cookie monster lately. I am praying for a change in my eating and desire to be unselfish. Thanks for being you and sharing you with us.
How did you know? I made a double batch of cowboy cookies so I could freeze all that we didn't eat (so i wouldn't eat all the cookies in one day). Except that in the last four days, I have eaten 4 dozen frozen cookie dough balls. YIKES! I am turning over a new leaf, though (i hope), and setting some rules for myself--modeled after yours, i must say! thankyou, thankyou, thankyou!
I very rarely buy treats at the grocery store, just to avoid the temptation altogether. But, wouldn't you know it that the one day that I splurge and buy a package of Milano cookies is the day you write about it on your blog! Really, how do you do that?? Just for that, I've decided I'm going to send them away in a package I'm mailing to a friend tomorrow.
The guilt really does work, doesn't it?! :)
Hey! You posted!
BTW, did you know m&m never post at my blog?
I think they like you best.
Are you really almost 40?
Let's see...that means I'm...yep, still younger than you. ;)
I wondered where you were.
When my kids asked where the cookies were, I'd answer, "I guess WE ate more than we thought".
As always, your words of wisdom are appreciated.
Sharing is one thing I have tried to do more of because it spreads the goodies around and not just on my tummy. But I like your spin on it, that we should share because we want to spread the love around as well!
Sometimes being redundant is what keeps us motivated. We need to hear the same things over and over again! But you have written some fabulous posts and I will go back and read them when I need a boost!I will also look forward to your once a week posts!
i haven't gotten tired of what you have to say. i think we need to hear it over and over again, don't you?
i think that i'm going to put a picture of cookie monster up in my kitchen somewhere to remind me.
Very insightful and sounds too much like me! I'm such a piggy lately! I need to get these pounds off from my last kid (so I say, but really it's from eating my kids treats!;) I'm gonna go read about your weight loss journey now! Love the blog!!!
I just found your blog through Denise and I am so excited to read and read!
I've been feeling the same way. I'm trying desperately to distract myself from my so-called hunger (it's totally just an urge to snack) so I don't hear my husband say later, "hey, what happened to *insert snack of choice here*? Or have my daughter ask for a cookie only to have me tell her they're all gone. Sigh...
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