Remembering Dory

Yesterday we went took our family to Victoria BC for labor day, we had a wonderful time, but the trip was long. Adding up our time spent together this summer travelling in the family van comes out to just over 60 hours. I am tired yet unbelievably grateful for portable DVD players.

Considering my commuting time this summer I hope you will understand just how much Finding Nemo I have listened to and forgive my analogy. I have been thinking a lot about Dory, and her short-term memory loss. I love her, I love how she and Marlin worked as a team. In their quest to find Nemo Dory tells a school of fish, "You see, he lost his son 'Fabio'.... and Marlin interrupts, 'Nemo' and she repeats "Nemo". They get through every task that way, She begins, he prompts. She is a fish with certain obvious weaknesses, but with Marlin helping her remember she became useful!

During my vacation I fought off the peanut M&M's in the van, the desserts at my MIL's and Burgers at McDonalds. On the last day of the next-to-last trip I was completely worn down and I forgot my resolve for healthy living. I was about to tuck into a dozen Tim Horton doughnuts when my husband happened to channel surf onto the Health and Fitness channel. It was a Boot Camp show, where women were working hard and changing their bodies. My Quest was remembered, I had no more desire for the maple bar, and I was ready to take the kids swimming.

I see myself as a silly blue fish swimming through life easily distracted by too many tasks, I procrastinate, or I simply forget to do the things I decided to do yesterday. My intentions and resolves are wonderful, but my ability to remember them leaves me at very inopportune times. This past Sunday I woke and started to read the Ensigns May conference issue. I turned to Elder Eyrings talk "This Day". I had read it before, had even marked the talk up with things I wanted to remember and yet as I read, I was overcome with a feeling that this talk was only vaguely familiar. He talked about why we procrastinate the things we have to do here in this life.

For most of us the temptation to delay will come from one or both of two feelings. They are polar opposites: one is to be complacent about what we have already done, and the other is to feel overwhelmed by the need to do more.

I know that in both my desire to get healthy physically and healthy spirituality I fail for those same two reasons Elder Eyring lists, complacency - "I ate healthy yesterday, one snickers won't hurt" "I don't have time to read today, I will tomorrow"- and the feeling of being overwhelmed - "I have too much weight to lose, I will never make it""I am so weak, why try?". Feelings like that make me forget what small steps I had previously decided to take in order to change. I now know why the Book Of Mormon prophets plead with us constantly to "remember" and why God had the Israelites collect only enough manna for one day. If we do not collect manna every day, we forget who placed it there, and who truly feeds us. I have said about wonderful spiritual experiences, "This is life changing" but really it was only day changing. I can not remember far enough back to change my life in one big swoop, my changes come from small reminders I find each day. Just like Marlin keeps reminding Dory, the Holy Ghost has blessed my life and helped me to remember the small steps I need to take. I pray for his guidance, I pray for him to help me remember. I then plead for him to speak loud enough for me to hear, and pray that I can be quiet enough to listen. I know that the Lord is the one who gives me strength. I know where the true source of change is. My physical change came because He taught me, I was led to books to learn from, and led by promptings that came quietly. I can like Ammon say:

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things"

Dory tells Marlin that she remembers better when he is around him, and asks him to not leave her. Marlin does leave, that is where the likeness ends. I remember better when the Lord is with me, but when I ask him to stay he does.

"...yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands..."(Isaiah 49:15-16)