Some people have asked me how I started my weight loss. My first few months in the blog archive explain it all.

Monday, August 20, 2007

The Cake and Mike, David, Joseph and Amulek

I love cake. Not fancy homemade ones, but the store bought ones with eerie blue icing made of Crisco. One particularly long day at work many years ago I got a craving bigger than my will. I drove to the Albertsons bakery and picked up a cake and looked at it, it was a perfect birthday cake but it was not my birthday. I felt unseen eyes watching me, I knew that the bakery girls were whispering “I bet she has no friends, and that she is going to eat it herself”. It was true, yet I wanted to share that secret with no one. With angry eyes I handed the cake to the baker and asked her to write “Happy Birthday Mike”. That would show her! I felt smug with my pretend friend, Of course this Mike was handsome, rich and successful, and more than those silly girls could ever hope for. I, the adoring girlfriend was going to celebrate this very special day in his arms. I was sure that those judgmental girls were instantly jealous, and as I left the bakery with a plastic fork I felt giddy in my charade. The eating wasn’t as fun as the acquiring.

As you know this past week we were on holiday. Mel and I made a menu and shopped in advance. The food for our trip was carefully planned and was going to all be healthy choices to go with our new lifestyle. Of course there were two spontaneous purchases, Hershey’s Kissables, and Mother’s pink and white frosted circus cookies, the kind with the sprinkles. I said that they were for the kids, but those treats were really intended for “Mike”

Most of the trip I resisted temptation. I passed out the cookies and candy. They weren’t all eaten and so I put them away for later. Later came after a few days and found me in the car alone tired and hungry. I was on my way to Taber for some 2X16 joist hangers (this was a working vacation). The siren call of the treats woke me up. I smiled.

With the two bags on my lap I started in on my celebration. There was an internal battle however. (If you haven’t already figured out, I talk to myself.) “What would you tell your blog friends to do?” “Right, pray - I’m supposed to pray right now and that is supposed to make me not want to eat this?” I said a feeble prayer, felt nothing, and then ate the candy and cookies. Maybe the spirit helped me to not inhale as fast as I could have, but I was not delivered.

Troubled at what I had done I wondered what it was that I am trying to say to you all. “Prayer didn’t work for me – but I think you should try it.”? After much more prayer and reflection I figured it out. My fall didn't have anything to do with lack of faith I fell because I did not avoid danger.

Think David. Seeing Bath-sheba and calling for her was putting himself in danger. If he could have jumped off his roof and went for a nice cool walk his life would have continued and his exaltation made sure. By calling for Bath-sheba he put himself in grave danger. He put himself in a situation where he could not succeed.

Now think Joseph. In Genesis 39:12 it says “And she (Potiphar’s wife) caught him by his garment, saying, Lie with me: and he left his garment in her hand, and fled, and got him out.”

Amulek is fighting with Zeezrom and says: “Oh thou child of hell, why tempt ye me? Knowest thou that the righteous yieldeth to no such temptations?”

Could we liken that? I should have not invited my favorite candies and cookies on my trip. I should have said to hersheys in the store, “Oh thou candy from hell, why tempt ye me? Knowest thou that the skinny yieldeth to no such temptations?” And then like Joseph, I should have “got me out”

When I returned from Taber with the joist hangars and a large bag of guilt I brought in with me the rest of the cookies and candy and put them in bowls and shared them with the kids. I couldn’t keep them around any longer for “Mike”, we broke up.

You have to remove the temptations from your life so you don’t get into situations where even prayer cannot deliver you. The junk food that you buy for the kids and can’t leave alone, don’t buy anymore. The kids’ probably will be better off anyway. I have flushed chocolate down the toilet in the morning when I was strong, to protect myself from the afternoon when I am weak. The garbage can isn’t even safe when I get to foraging.

Is it time for you to break up with your “Mike”? It isn’t a healthy relationship. Get his junk food out of your house and kick him to the curb.


General Wolfe said...

Great insight. Maybe your next happy birthday cake for mike can be a vegtable tray.

Kimberly said...

So are you saying I need to toss out the leftover cheesecake? =P

You're so right about this (and those circus cookies? So evilly good). Whenever I recommit to eating healthy, I toss the junk, and fill my cupboards with healthy snacks. Helps immeasurably.

Amy said...

Glad your back safe and sound. Hope it was a good trip!

While you were away I have lost and gained the same 4 pounds. I am struggling with some things in my life right now and food is always the ultimate "comforter". That is my weakness.

Today is shopping day. I am trying to create a menu and grocery list that will fill me and my family with good things. I have enough hurt and disappointment without adding the guilt the of bad food.

Wish me luck!

watermelanie said...

This is so true. When I am at the store, I always say, "Oh, I won't eat those. They're just for Larry and the kids." But who is the one who goes foraging and hording? Yep, you guessed it. Sometimes, no one but me knows they have ever been in the house. Then my sweet hubby will say, with innocent incredulity, "you ate them all? by yourself?" Oh, ya, honey! You wanna get into it with a crazed goody-starved person? I didn't think so.

Marc and Megan said...

Those circus cookies have very powerful persuasions... it isn't your fault. They get me all the time.

BTW, welcome back! We missed you! Oh, and we need your frozen strawberry jam recipe. We're trying to cut foods our of our diet that have high fructose corn syrup... which doesn't leave us a whole heck of a lot of choices. You don't put high fructose corn syrup in your homemade jam, do you? Please tell me you don't.

Calamity Jane said...

Megan, everyone keeps talking about the circus cookies, but the kissables are equally dangerous. Place one on your tounge, suck on it until the outer shell is almost transparent, crush it with your tounge against the roof of your mouth and molten creamy chocolate seeps like a milk lava flow down your throat. Amazing experience. Anyways, the jam recipie I use has no corn syrup. I love it It is called "Ball simple creations no cook freezer jam fruit pectin" It takes 4 cups frozen fruit, and 1 1/2 cups sugar Thats it! You stir the sugar and pectin in a bowl until blended, add fruit, stir 3 minutes, put in the jar or plastic container, let stand 30 minutes and freeze or eat right then. It is the best and easiest I have ever found. It also can make a good pie filling or glaze(that is what it says on the package) Good luck!

Heffalump said...

But sometimes when I need a hug Mike is the only one there.
The idea of giving Mike up forever and always is just very hard.
That may be why I am still sitting here weighing too much and watching my treadmill collect dust.

AlaskaMom said...

You were missed; WELCOME BACK!

As usual, great "likening". I love reading your blog! :o)

Calamity Jane said...

General Wolfe, since you are my dh, I am glad that you have no jellousy issures with "Mike"

Kimberly, I think you should salt and pepper the cheesecake, and then run it under hot water. While it is melting you should shout "die infernal fiend! - " a bit dramatic, but oh so satisfying!

Amy, Good luck on your shopping, or if it is done, I hope it went well. I share the same weakness! that evil Mike!

Melanie, I can see the look of fear on your husbands face when he realizes that his question placed him on a dangerous path. Our husbands are related and I have seen the same look on my sweet man. I have bought a treat for the family, ate too much of it myself, and then eaten the rest to hide the evidence. In moments of reflection when I choose to tell him what I had done he now keeps his face blank and his comments to himself!

Calamity Jane said...

Heffalump, If you need a hug, come here, and I will give you one over the computer. don't fool yourself, Mike never really loved you. dork.

Alaska mom, thanks! It is good to be back!

Calamity Jane said...

heffalump, I called mike the dork, not you. . . Just thought I would clear that up. I am going to go back to my reading of "How to lose friends and insult people"

Carrot Jello said...

I'm thinking it's too early to call you. You will think it's mom calling at this hour.
Mel sure kept a cool head about you and Mike. I never knew. I thought I was your best friend.

Heffalump said...

I just gave you a Nice Matters award on my blog today, and then I come here to find you calling me a dork...thank you for clarifying that it was Mike you were calling a dork. I thought maybe it was some kind of tough love.

Heffalump said...

P.S. The award is on my I blog about nothing blog. Sometimes having two blogs can be complicated.

KellyLady said...

Thank you!

Chubby Chick said...

Oh...cake. Don't even get me started on cake. lol I watched Food Network's Sweet 16 Birthday Cake challenge last night. Four contestants had to design a birthday cake for a 16 year-old girl, and she picked the one she wanted for her party. The winner won $10,000.00.

Well, the cakes were gorgeous! And when the judges and the birthday girl sampled them, they looked absolutely scrumptious! Fillings, icing, moist cake...yum!

Well, when I went to bed, I could not stop thinking about cake...and icing! I was practically fantasizing about devouring a huge spoon of creamy buttercream icing. (Not practically...I WAS fantasizing about it. lol)

I can relate to buying a birthday cake at the grocery store for a "pretend" person, too. I used to buy the cakes that already had "Happy Birthday" written on them, or I would buy the cupcakes that were already decorated for a little kid's party...the ones that had little toy favors on them.

Gone are the days. I refuse to continue that kind of behavior. There is more to life than cake!


Michelle said...

Good point. Done and done.

Thank you.