I Can Do Hard Things.

The term “runners high” is a myth. A runners high is merely a sweaty wave passed between fellow sufferers.

In the New Years Fireside given to the youth, Susan Tanner said “I have learned that I can do hard things” So have I.

Exercise for me is hard. There are certain unpleasant things that I know I must do that payoff later rather than sooner. These include, putting money in a savings account, childbirth, cleaning out the van, laundry . . . the list is infinite. Every morning I wake up in a state of justification “I can’t go today, I swear I will go tomorrow. I was up all night with the baby, too tired, too rainy, too cold, too dark, too hot, too windy, too sore.

Tithing is a principle of faith not finances. We learn that paying the first ten percent of a paycheck is easier than the last ten percent. It is easier to exercise the first one percent of the day than the last. It is a fact that it is harder to lose weight and keep it off without exercise. Two years ago, my husband was called to teach early morning seminary. I tried to exercise in the afternoon, evening, even during the day, taking my kids with me. But in the afternoon, I was too tired, or too busy driving kids here and there, the evening I wanted to be with my husband, or watch a show, or relax, and my walks during the day were filled with toddlers straining to get out of the stroller and push themselves.

My only other choice was to get up at 5:15 and go out. The first few mornings were the hardest. I fumbled around, opening drawers in the dark trying to find clothing. I became frustrated trying to find the headphones that were “borrowed” By the time I got ready It was time for my husband to leave and I crawled back into bed.

In a child psychology class I was told that toddlers become out of control or frustrated often because they are placed in situations where they cannot succeed. For example I know that Eliza (2) hates grocery shopping, she wants to run around and explore things. She will not stay in the cart. If she is placed in the cart she will throw a fit. I can choose to take her and teach her, which takes time and patience, or I can leave her home. If I go ahead and take her with the idea that I will just rush in and rush out, without the willingness to have patience and teach, I have just placed my daughter in a situation where she cannot succeed. I could have brought her favorite book, gone to the bakery for the free cookie, had her carry around a box of cereal, or let her greet everyone we pass. If I make no provisions for her, I should not be surprised if she throws a tantrum. It is not right to be angry with her; I knew she would have a problem before I went in. If I did not find a way to help make it fun, or even as painless as possible, the person who needs the time out is me.

I believe that when it comes to doing hard things we become like toddlers. We must put ways that we can succeed before the actual event. Every night before I go to bed, I layout my work out clothes, every part, even my socks and shoes. I put my ipod on top, make sure it is charged, and loaded with interesting things to listen too, good podcasts, or motivational music. I have a deal with my husband that when the alarm goes off he has to tell me, “come on, get out of bed.” He has to be willing to pull me out if I don’t get up. He cannot be willing to listen to my reasons why I can’t go this morning. Sometimes he is frightened. He has learned to do hard things too.

I still don’t love to exercise right away. I get stitches in my side, my knee hurts, I want to throw up, I am breathing hard and I am sweaty. Sometimes, not often, there are moments that I look out at the sky turning bright, smell fresh air, hear birds and feel happy. The biggest payoff comes every day at one o’clock I feel glad I did it. My muscles feel a bit tighter and I feel good.

A missionary once told me that the Lord puts us in the refiner’s fire to make us strong, and that if we aren’t there, we should jump back in.

The refiners fire in exercise is getting to the point of uncomfortable and then going a bit farther. I started with walking 3 - 15 minute miles, when that got to be a non face reddening non – pit smelling, non sweat dripping into my eyes experience, I had to go harder. 4 miles, at 14 min each, can I do 13 min miles? I found that If I pushed really hard, I could walk a 12 minute mile. Why not run 1 minute and walk 3 - do you get where this is going? It has always got to be a bit harder every few weeks. If you can’t do this alone, pray for a workout partner. I have done that many times and have found some of my best friends that way. Pray that you can succeed, and then you can. “If ye have faith ye can do all things” Moroni 10:23 remember, it is good to get Heavenly Father involved.

I hope I don’t sound like a circuit preacher or an info-mercial, I swear I am not planning to sell you a thing. Some of you I know and love, and have asked how I lost weight. This is how. It starts by doing hard things.

“You Can’t Be Thin In Ignorance”

I read a book, I think it was “Cold Sassy Tree” (amazing book) The grandpa told his grandson Will, something like “if you want to end up somewhere different you have to walk a different path.”

That week I placed in my bathroom: my copy of Dr. Phil’s book “Ultimate Weight Solution” “Set for life” and “Stop the insanity!” and other books like that along with every magazine that said something like” I lost ½ my size!!!” I decided to have a daily weight loss devotional in that one safe spot mothers have found the world over. I had already read and filled in all of the blanks of the Dr’s book, but it was hard to remember every day what I read a week ago. For one week I decided to read books on weight loss every morning and find one idea that I could try that day. If books can help ordinary people to become doctors, lawyers, runners, and mountain climbers then I could learn to be thin.

It takes humility to learn from someone else. But if you are fat like I was your knowledge isn’t getting you anywhere. For example, one magazine article I read said, “I was always hungry” I was shocked! I didn’t think I was going to make that kind of sacrifice. Was I willing to be hungry sometimes? I didn’t know. I usually avoided that feeling by constantly eating. I read so many different points of view and most of the ideas I had never even thought of.

So, my next step was that after my prayer, I would come up with a strategy suggested by someone else and try it that day.

Anyone else have a favorite inspiring piece of literature to place in bathrooms the world over?

With God nothing is impossible

One week after I "got real" I still weighed the same. I felt like a desperate crazy woman. I got on the scale and cried. I had started the way I thought I was supposed to start. I did some hard things, why didn’t I lose at least 2 pounds?

I didn’t want to be fat anymore, but I still really loved eating. I didn’t think I was eating so badly, why was I so fat? I ate fruits, veggies, whole grains, sometimes French fries, sometimes chips, but not too often, or not too much. I ate chocolate, but who doesn’t? Sometimes I ate ice cream, but not to a degree that it would kill me. Yea, pizza once in awhile, but not very often, and sometimes I took off the toping. As the old saying goes, “I was in denial, and it wasn’t a river in Egypt.

Alma tells his son Helaman:
“Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord. . . He goes on to say “counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good” (Alma 37:36-37)

This is where I had to modify Dr. Phil a bit and ask for some serious help. It really did matter to me. Heavenly Father cares about our bodies too, that’s why we have the word of wisdom. I am sure He wants us running as fast and as well as we can. I tearfully asked my husband for a blessing. I then had a long prayer. In the past I have prayed for the desire to do things. Do you remember Alma’s counsel to the poor Zoramites?

“But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if you can no more that desire to believe, let this desire work in you. . .” (Alma 32:27)

I had the desire to get fit, just not the ability to get there. I needed to have the desire work in me to change my way of thinking. I had to ask Heavenly Father to help me to want to do, and learn the things necessary for change, because on my own I was powerless. I needed to seek counsel from someone who wrote the owners manual for our bodies – God.

My plan was this, in the morning, I “counseled with the Lord” In my morning prayer I asked him for strength. For desire to exercise, for ability to eat right, and for knowledge on how I could change. During the day, snack time, lunch time, before and after dinner I asked him to show me when to quit, what to eat, and what I could do to change old habits. At night, in my prayer I would thank him and ask him to help me hear his counsel tommorow. I even asked him to help me to want to get up and excercise.

This truly was the beginning of my transformation. I know that Heavenly Father cares about me. He told the Nephite apostles:

”Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? Or, What shall we drink? Or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things”
But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” (3 Nephi 13:31-33)

What do you think? Is it right to ask the lord for help in weight loss? Have you ever done it? Has it been successful?

A Psychology Degree Is Used

Know your weight, write it down, tell a friend. As the good dr. says “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.”

I have a Psychology degree with which I am qualified to do nothing but watch Dr. Phil and pretend to understand on a deeper level than most, what he is saying. So, I bought his book. This is not a testimonial for Dr. Phil, but for a process that began with some of his ideas.

He told me to get real. Step one then for me was to face my fat. I got the scale out again and saw . . . 198. It was a bit better than October, but still obese. In the past, my weight number was a carefully guarded secret, so secret that I would try to forget it once it was revealed to me. My faulty reasoning led me to believe that the number would make me different in my husband’s eyes. Who was I fooling? Everyone knew I was fat, and the number was not going to make me look any fatter, or the denial of the number was not making me look any thinner. I stood in front of the full length mirror completely naked. I surveyed the rolls on my back, and my front. I wiggled my shoulders and watched my body continue to shake well after I had stopped voluntary moving. I grabbed my flabby belly and wiggled it. I looked at my thighs, were those German sausages over stuffed into their transparent casings? I loved bratwurst, but I didn’t like them for legs. I was mesmerized.

Step two was to reveal the number to my husband. I remember where we were; In the kitchen, by my scale. (Yes, I tried the “put the scale by your fridge trick – didn’t work) I told him I was going to tell him the number. My face started to go red before I even told him. Ashamed that I just weighed 5 pounds less than my 6’3” husband I blurted it out. I opened my eyes to see a very loving and supportive man, who would become my partner in my goals. Telling him the number did not change my size.

That day for me was for me was my interpretation of Dr. Phil’s “get real” and “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” I started to exercise.

Before and After

My sister said before and after pictures are important. I believe that. I know that I love to have proof that the person was what they say. But it is really hard to publish my own. It is really close to my heart. I can remember all of the experiences and emotions that got me here.

Of course there is always the lovely side shot. That can be just as disturbing for us Apple bodies. This was a month before my bottom was shot.

I sometimes still look in the mirror and expect to see that. It always surprises me that I am different. Here I am after running my first 5K this past April. I took third.

Out in our yard last month. Look, my shirt is tucked in. I am wearing a BELT!!!

The Fats

In October I was fat. 205 fat. I looked up my weight on a weight chart and saw – obese.

I never meant to be 37 and obese. My dreams as a young adult didn’t include cellulite. I dreamed of a life as a stay at home mom, with 5 kids, being fit, and well dressed with cute hair. I got the 5 kids, and the stay at home part, I just didn’t understand that the other parts would be so hard. Life takes on a frantic pace, and in my Florence Nightingale heroics, I forgot to take care of myself (so cliché, but true) life got busy, I didn’t pay attention, stepped on my scale 15 years later and bam. . 205.

That month my sister called inviting my other sister and my mother to have a weight loss challenge. I lost 7 pounds, but the holidays took over, and I gave up.

January came. We had gone to Canada for the New Year. Some pictures were taken and I saw just how fat I had become. In resignation tinged with despair I bought a bag of dove chocolates for the ride home. I hid it in the pocket behind my seat. I would unwrap one, place it on my tongue and let it sit until it became molten creamy chocolate. In one swallow the chocolate would glide down my throat and bring a bit of peace. My son Colton saw my stash and looked at me hopefully. I snarled like an angry wolf, in my best son of satan voice: “These are Mine get your own!!!“ I sounded like an addict.